I did the job of three people last year and still only got “Meets Expectations” on my performance eval!

I see this complaint constantly. And my first instinct is sympathy. It has happened to me, several times, and its super frustrating. But the other day I was thinking, well, what did your manager, your performance evaluator, actually see? And I made a connection in my head.

Stay with me here. There’s a relationship book called The Five Love Languages. The core idea is simple. Its that people express and receive love differently. You might show love through acts of service, like doing the dishesor fixing things around the house. But if your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, they don’t feel loved. They feel like they have a helpful roommate.

It doesn’t matter how much you’re giving if it’s not being received.

The same dynamic plays out at work. You might be killing yourself doing what you think is important. But if your manager doesn’t see it, or doesn’t value it, then it doesn’t register.

Meanwhile, some co-worker over there barely did anything all year. But the one thing they did? It was the single thing your manager cared most about. Guess who gets the higher rating.

This isn’t fair. But it’s real.

It doesn’t always matter what you think is important. It matters what your manager thinks is important.

This isn’t about being a suck-up or playing politics. It’s about alignment. Do you actually know what your manager values? What keeps them up at night? What they’re being measured on?

If you don’t know, find out. Ask directly. Pay attention.

All that hard work only counts if it’s visible and valued by the person actually doing the preview.